


Baby Names

by HasKnees



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Edd and Tord are a happy married couple, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Im writing more chapters hehe, Just so much love, Kissing, Love, M/M, Married Couple, Matt and Tom are also married, Mpreg, Pregnancy, They must choose baby name, They're doing awful but they're having fun, They're having a baby and they're excited, This is just these boys goofing around and having fun while beeing lovey, Trans Male Character, Transgender Tord, i cant help myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-11 07:52:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15967955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HasKnees/pseuds/HasKnees
Summary: "Edd, we are absolutelynotnaming our baby girl Bumble Bee. Or Bee. Or Beatrice. Or anything that has the letter B in it, for that matter. I refuse to let you name our daughter after your bee fetish."





	1. Not Bumble Bee

**Author's Note:**

> I needed flufff

"Edd, we are absolutely _not_ naming our baby girl Bumble Bee. Or Bee. Or Beatrice. Or anything that has the letter B in it, for that matter. I refuse to let you name our daughter after your bee fetish." 

"iT'S NOT A FETISH-" The cola lover shouted defensively, crossing his arms and huffing like a child being denied Mac and cheese for dinner. Tord snorted, walking over, and gently pecking his husband on the cheek.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Eddy." The Norwegian hummed, earning an eye roll, and a small smile from his beloved.

"I just eat them! It seriously isn't a fetish! A fetish is defined as 'a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.' Therefore, me eating bees isn't a fetish, because there is no sexual gratification or desire whatsoever!"

"Suuuuuuuuuuuure." Tom cut into the conversation from his place on the couch, Edd immediately sending a glare in his direction, and sticking his tongue out.

"Rude." He stated blunting, Matt peeking in from the kitchen and raising an eyebrow at his baby brother.

"Why do you have the definition of fetish memorized?" The ginger asked, Edd blushing lightly and groaning, proceeding to wrap his arms around Tord from behind and whine into his husbands hair.

"You guys never give me a break." 

"You give us too many opportunities to tease ya, Edd," Tom started, a grin slowly making it's way onto his face. "Anyway, you two seem very stuck in your discussion of baby names, so, I thought I'd help." 

"You have a suggestion then?" Tord asked, the black eyed male nodding, and waving for the Norwegian to come closer, with very clear excitement in his gesture. The red hooded male slipped out of Edd's arms, and shuffled over to the couch. 

Tom took hold of Tord's shoulder, pulling the gremlin closer, and leaning in so that he was speaking directly into the shorter males ear.

"AHHHHHHH-"

"hECKING HECK, TOM-" The Norwegian shouted, stumbling back in surprise, Matt wheezing and bursting into a fit of laughter. Even Edd was laughing, as Tord brought a hand up to his ear, grumbling and glaring at all of them.

"No. _No."_

"Awww, come on, Tordle. I think releasing ones internal screams is the perfect name for you and Edd's daughter." 

"I have to say, I agree." Edd hummed, tapping his fingers on his lovers shoulder. "It has a nice ring to it."

"Mhm, they're right!" Matt chimed in, sitting on the couch next to Tom, and slinging an arm around his own husband. The blue hooded male beamed, nuzzling into the gingers side, letting out a soft happy sigh.

"No."

"Three against one, babe." Edd said in teasing tone, affectionately booping Tord on the nose. The Norwegians face scrunched up, and he stepped back, placing his hands over his stomach.

"Mkay, _I'm_ the one having the fucking baby. Therefore I have final say on the name."

Edd giggled, stepping forward and lovingly kissing the Norwegian, scooping him up and snuggling him close. Tord couldn't help but smile, nuzzling his forehead against Edd's. Goodness, he was so in love with this dork.

"Okay, so AHHHH is off the table. Any other ideas, Tom?" The green hooded male questioned, Tom nodding, and lazily seating himself in Matt's lap.

"Asshole."

"Alright! Tom no longer gets to choose names for the child!"

"Tooooooooooord-" The blue hooded male whined, shutting up when Matt kissed him, gently patting the top of his head.

"I have ideas!" The ginger hummed, continuing to pat his husbands head.

"What are they, bro?" Edd asked, raising an eyebrow, and tightening his grip on Tord as he carried the gremlin over to the couch, sitting next to the other couple, Tord on his lap.

"Matt, obviously."

"We're having a girl, bro." 

"Yes. And?"

Edd let out a long sigh, he and Tord both rolling their eyes. Naturally, that's what they should have expected from the tall purple hooded male. If they were having a boy, the cola lover probably would have wanted to name their child after his older brother. Alas, that was not the case.

"How 'bout 69? 420?" He said, Tord gasping and wheezing. playfully smacking his husbands shoulder.

"Pffft, eDD, GREEN BEAN, NO-" 

The cola lover smiled at his ability to make his love laugh, taking immense pride in it. The small Norwegian continued giggling, resting his head on Edd's chest and smiling softly.

"That, is totally what I want to name our daughter."

"But AHHHHH, and asshole don't make the cut?? mATT didn't even make the cut! Clearly you two don't know good baby names." Tom teased, earning even bigger smile from both his friends. Matt snorted, quickly jumping in to agree with his husband.

"Yeeaaah! My name is great! And Tom's suggestions were great too!"

"Don't you two have a date night to tonight??? Hmmm???"

"gASP-" Matt practically screeched, jumping up from the couch, and, in turn, accidentally knocking Tom onto the floor.

"BABY DOLL I'M SORRY-" The ginger continued to yell, Edd and Tord unable to stop laughing. They fucking loved their dumbass friends, their dumbass _family._

"IT'S OKAY!! I'M GOOD!!" Tom shouted, allowing Matt to scoop him up, hurrying them both towards the door.

"ONCE WE'RE BACK FROM DATE NIGHT, WE'LL HAVE EVEN MORE GREAT BABY NAMES PICKED FOR YOU GUYS!" Matt declared, Tom nodding in agreement as he waved.

"CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKERS!"

The door slammed shut behind them as they left, leaving Edd and Tord gasping for breath as they laughed unbelievably hard at all of the stupidity that had just unfolded between their very eyes. 

After several minutes, the pair managed to calm down, smiling softly at each other, and sharing a few sweet kisses.

"Mmmm..so.. back to baby names....?" The cola lover asked, his loving gremlin nuzzling him gently.

"If you're thinking of naming her after a dinosaur, then nope." 

"A man, I was gonna name her Tyrannosaurus. You've ruined my plans!" Edd said with a wink, Tord chuckling, and sleepily burying his face into his husbands chest.

"You can't name her after Ringo either." 

"Aww, I was legitimately gonna ask about that one-" 

"No."

"What if we named her.. wait for it.." 

"Hmmm??" Tord tilted his head in confusion, slowing catching on. "EDD, we are not naming are daughter wait for it-" 

"aARON BURR WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED-"

"Eddddddd.." The Norwegian softly whined, the green hooded male giggling and standing, carefully holding Tord in his arms, carrying his tired lover towards the bedroom.

"Mmm, okay, okay, I'll think of something else." He stated, Tord giving a tiny nod as Edd gently set him in bed, sliding in next to him and pulling the covers over them both. He snuggled his husband close, kissing his forehead.

"What if.. we named her after my mother...?"

"You mother..?" Tord blinked a little, a lopsided little grin making it's way onto his face. "I've always really liked her name.. I think that's perfect." 

Edd beamed, feeling a sense of pride swell up within him for the second time that night. He wrapped his arms tightly around Tord, closing his eyes, loving the sense of peace and warmth that washed over him.

"Good.. now, get some sleep, love." 

"Wait, wait.." Tord sleepily mumbled, Edd humming in response.

"One more thing, Edd.." 

"What is it?" 

"I love you, ya dork." 

"Hehe, I love you too."


	2. Not failures, gonna be badass parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOo this was so much fun to write at night

Tord let out a few soft sniffles, burying his face into the soft red and green pillows covering his and Edds bed. His chest ached terribly, feelings he couldn’t truly describe relentlessly pestering him. 

His lip quivered, eyes blurring with a fresh wave of tears, a loud, pained sob escaping him. The Norwegian tried to quiet himself, not wanting to catch the attention of his husband, who was currently just down the stairs, assisting Matt with dinner.

Unfortunately for Tord, the walls within their home were immensely thin, and his cries could be heard throughout the entire house. Edd politely excused himself from his brother the moment he heard it, the ginger nodding in complete and total understanding, and calling Tom in to help him instead. 

Edd made his way to the bedroom he shared with Tord, frowning upon seeing just how much of a mess the little Norwegian was, face flushed, and stained with tears. It hurt his heart to see his beloved in so much distress. 

“Tord...”

“M’ f-fine, love..” The red hooded male stuttered, accent thicker then normal as he slowly sat himself up, using his hoodie sleeves to wipe at his nose and eyes pathetically. 

Edd walked over to the bed, sitting down next to Tord, carefully wrapping his arms around him, and pulling the Norwegian close. More soft sniffles escaped the smaller male as he quickly melted into his husbands touch, burying his face into Edds chest.

“What’s wrong?” The green hooded male asked, lovingly petting Tords hair. When Norwegian didn’t answer after quite a few minutes, Edd jumped to conclusions, anxiety pulsing through him. 

“Do you not want to be pregnant-“ He blurted, praying that he was just overthinking things. Tord wanted to have a kid with him... right? Neither of them had been interested in having kids before, and they’d never really discussed it, but they loved each other so, so, so, _so_ much, this was okay, right-

“W-what?” Tord muffledly mumbled, lifting his head up from Edds chest ever so slightly, the tufts of his horned hair tickling Edds chin. However, the green hooded male couldn’t even giggle, considering us current panic. (Which he wasn’t used to, Tord has more anxiety attacks or panic like break downs then he ever did.)

“We haven’t really talked about it before, and you seem excited about everything, b-but are you like uncomfortable being pregnant? Does it make you l-like... you _aren’t_ a girl, Tord-“

The red hooded male blinked several times, processing, making a small “oooh” noise in realization. 

“I know. I’m way, way passed all of that. I’m completely and totally 100% male. And I’m fine with being pregnant, I promise. I would’ve told you if I wasn’t!”

Edd nodded, looking relieved, his panic immediately dwindling. He kissed Tords forehead, letting out soft tiny purrs.

The Norwegian remained quiet for a few moments, simply affectionately nuzzling, before finally speaking up.

“S’ c-complicated I guess..” He started, trailing off as he struggled to find the words. Edd gave a gentle smile, placing a reassuring kiss to Tords lips.

“Take your time, love.. I’ve got all the time in the world to listen to you~”

The Norwegian giggled, Edd playfully poking his nose. Tord already felt a bit better. Edd was always comforting. Warm, safe, caring, kind, funny.. Tord knew he could trust Edd with everything. He loved him more then anything.

“I j-just.. feel like such a d-disappointment, and a failure, like I’m g-gonna be an a-awful parent, because I’m _me._ I’ve done so many bad t-things.. and h-honestly Edd, sometimes I don’t see how you love me, when I’m s-so selfish and over sensitive, a-and-“

The cola lover cut his husband off with a sweet, yet firm kiss, pulling away and snuggling Tord into his lap. 

“You’re not a disappointment, or a failure. I promise you that, Tord. You are so fucking amazing, and it’s sad that you don’t see it sometimes.. you’re gonna be a great parent to Nellie. She’s going to love you. So, so much, I know it! You guys are gonna be so close, it’ll be adorable!”

Tord smiled softly, nuzzling Edd and laying his head back on the green hooded males chest. Edd gently placed his hands on Tords stomach, pressing light kisses to the Norwegians neck. 

“And I love you more then you could possibly ever know. For so, so many reasons! You’re such a cute little nerd, and you’re so sweet too! And dumb. So dumb.”

The cola lover called him dumb in such an endearing way, it made Tords heart melt. He loved this fucking dork more then he could ever explain. 

“T-thank you.. so much, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Goodness, I c-can’t say it enough.”

Edd purred, giggling and continuing to shower Tords neck in kisses. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you~ Hehhe, I can’t stop saying it either~”

Tord beamed, turning around in Edds lap to kiss the green hooded dorks lips, moving his hands down to tickle his sides.

Edd gasped in surprise, bursting into a fit of laughter and weakly protesting, just barely struggling against Tord. The Norwegian laughed along with his husband, cherishing every minute of their current joy.

Eventually, Tord stopped, kissing Edd relentlessly as the cola lover calmed down from his giggling fit. The green hooded male stuck his tongue out at Tord, an adoring look on his face.

“You silly gremlin~”

“Mmm, you love me~”

“I do! And you love me~” Edd purred out, laying down on his back, pulling Tord with him. The Norwegian cuddled close, closing his eyes and relishing the warmth and safety he felt. 

Things were so much better now that he was in Edds arms, happy and reassured. He was so lucky to have such an amazing lover.

“...do you think I’ll be a bad parent?”

Tords eyes flew up, the small Norwegian literally jolting in shock. He stared at Edd, scanning his facial features, trying to tell if the green hooded male was serious or not.

Edd was serious, as he couldn’t help it. He’d grown up with an abusive father, and it was his worst nightmare to think he’d end up like that.. he didn’t want.. he didn’t-

Tord cupped Edds cheeks, a firm look in his eyes that the cola lover found so unbearably cute.

“You are going to be a great parent. The very best! You’re great with kids, Edd! You love them, they love you! You’re so darn sweet, and nurturing, and just downright wonderful. Nellie is gonna absolutely adore you.”

Edd smiled, tears welling up. He purred, kissing Tord over and over and mumbling “Thank you” in between they’re sweet, loving little kisses. Both boys giggled, holding one another as close as possible. 

Tord grinned, taking his husbands hand and interlocking their fingers.

“Nellie is gonna have the most amazing badass parents ever.”

Edd gave a light squeeze to Tords hand, grinning just as much as the little Norwegian was.

“Heck yeah she is!”

“dINNER-“ Matt shouted from downstairs, startling the lovers, causing them to nearly fall off the bed. They snorted, laughing and teasingly poking fun at one another, before Edd scooped Tord up bridal style. 

With big, dumb, lovestruck smiles on both of their faces, they headed downstairs, boasting about what amazing parents they’d be, occasionally referencing memes. 

“You two need to get Nellie to call me Thomas the tank engine.” Tom stated, shoving food into his mouth and leaning on Matt. 

Tord and Edd snorted, rolling their eyes, quickly agreeing.

“Don’t worry, we will.”

“Oooh, have you thought of middle names yet??” Matt asked, Edd shaking his head.

“Nope. You got any?”

“Yeah,” The ginger beginning, smiling like a total idiot. “Matt-“

“Nope.”

“oH COME ON-“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heheheh beans


	3. Edd is protective and competitive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof this was kinda rushed,, but I still enjoyed writing it 
> 
> I’m more excited to write the next chapter Hehe

The moment Tord had gone into labor, Edd had absolutely lost his shit. 

The 9 months of his husband being pregnant had been hard, and overwhelming, but they’d happily managed to push through it together.

But nothing, _nothing_ could prepare Edd for this. 

He’d been at work when it happened, receiving a call from Tom, informing him that Matt had driven Tord to the hospital. 

“Yeah, uh, Tord, baby, it’s coming out. Mhm. Matt drive. Caw caw.”

Ah, so eloquent. (Really, Tom was just nervous, and unable to form coherent thoughts at the moment. Watching your dude-bro go into labor was frightening.)

Immediately, the cola lover had burst into tears, leaving work without explaining to his boss what was going on, literally sprinting to the hospital. (Well, he’d eventually gotten Tom to pick him up and drive him the rest of the way there, but still.)

The hours spent at the hospital were a complete and total blur, Edd unable to recall most of it. He just remembers the terrifying thoughts that something could go wrong and that he could lose Tord forever, alongside the overwhelming relief and emotion of seeing his daughter for the first time, and realizing he and Tord were really parents now. 

Returning home from the hospital, and the next few weeks were completely and utterly exhausting. For everyone.

Luckily however, things had fallen into a decently nice routine. 

Unluckily, said routine had recently been broken. 

Tord, in his sleep deprived state, had made the mistake of falling down the stairs.

Which, sent Edd into hyper protective mode.

“Edd. You literally cannot keep Tord and Nellie trapped in a nest in your room for the rest of their lives-“

“Yes, I can Matt. And I will. They’re safe there. Safe from all the evils of the world.”

“Tord fell down like two stairs.”

“Two stairs too many.”

Matt sighed, running a hand down his face. 

“Edd, pleeeeassse- I wanna see my niece again! And Tom wants to see her too! And of course, Tord.. I guess-“

Edd hissed, guarding the doorway to his room much more carefully.

“No. My family. I protect. My husband. My baby.”

“I’m not dangerous, Edd-“

“B e g o n e t a l l t h o t.”

Tom, rolled his eyes, (not that anyone could tell) and walked over, leaning his head on Matt’s shoulder.

“Edd, let us see our family-“

“ _My_ family.”

“Exc-fucking-use me, we are included in your family, small green dad. Now let us enter thy domain.” 

Edd hissed again, shielding the entry to his doorway further. Matt sighed, Tom snorting. “Wow.”

“Edddd, just let them in.. s’ not a big deal-“

“Tord, oh my precious baby don’t walk you’re gonna fall and hurt yourself-“ Edd abandoned the door almost instantly, rushing into his room and gently pushing Tord back into the nest he’d created, alongside their peacefully sleeping daughter, Nellie. 

Tord gave a soft smile, laughing quietly, and easily giving in, curling back up in the nest beside his daughter. 

Edd, stood proudly, before crawling in next to them, nuzzling Tord lovingly.

Matt sighed, smiling gently at them and wrapping his arm around Tom.

“They’re cute, aren’t they?” He mumbled, closing the door quietly when Edd refused to stop glaring at him. Jeez, he was pushy- 

Not that Matt really minded. He’d probably be a protective dad too. 

“Yeah.. they really are.” Tom nuzzled his way into Matt’s arms, contently settling himself there. 

“We should get ourselves a daughter.” The ginger stated, Tom blinking several times.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I’mma do it.”

“Sweet.”

Edds mouth hung agape, and he gently shook Tord. “Hmm..??” The Norwegian sleepily hummed, lazily kissing Edds cheek.

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what..?”

“Tom and Matt are adopting!”

“Oh.. that’s so cool!”

“nO Tord they’re competing with us- whatever. We’re the better parents.”

“I think Tom and Matt would be great parents-“

“We’re still better.”

Tord giggled, hugging onto Edds arms and chirping. He glanced over at Nellie, heart feeling warmer then ever.

“Yeah, we definitely are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I always have to pee


	4. M a t t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> achhoosk;

“Pap! Pap!” Nellie, who’d recently just turned 7, called as she ran into the living room from the kitchen. 

“Yes, sweetheart?” Tord asked, looking up from his phone and smiled. He found it adorable that she still called him “pap”, the name she’d chosen for him the moment she’d learned to speak. 

“You’re having me a baby brother, aren’t cha?” She asked, crawling onto the couch and plopping herself down next to him. Tord giggled, turning his phone off and setting it aside. 

“Yes, I am having you a baby brother. I’ve told you almost eight times now, sweetie.” Tord said, internally hoping she hadn’t picked up the habit of over asking things from him. (She had, of course.)

“I’m just clarifying!” Nellie hummed, tapping her fingers against her chin. “He’s gonna be a part of my army, you know.”

“Oh? Your army??”

“Shhh!!!”

The 7 year old leaned up, pressing her hand to Tord lips. (Her hands nearly going into his mouth, since it was open- luckily Tord managed to close it in time.) Edd walked in seconds later, Nellie glaring at him.

“Dad! Can’t you see Pap and I are having a conversation?! How dare you intrude!!!”

Edd gave an amused snort, raising an eyebrow, and walking over to lean on the couch, kissing the top of Tords head.

“Please, pardon me, dear daughter. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” The green hooded male stated, Nellie scowling.

“You did mean to though! You always walk in right when I mention it!”

“Mention what?” Edd asked, the tone of his voice being one that Tord knew well. The cola lover was fairly oblivious most of the time, but when he did know the truth about something, and was pretending not to, he had a very specific tone. One which he happened to be using now.

The Norwegian giggled, grinning dumbly. Oh, he loved his family. 

“I’m not telling you! Only Pap gets to know!”

“And why is that?”

“Because your revolution took down Paps army! And I'm not letting you take down mine!” Nellie gasped, hands flying up to cover her mouth the moment the words slipped out. Edd wore a poorly faked shocked expression, lifting a hand up to his heart.

“My own daughter, starting an army?! Under my roof?! Unbelievable!!”

“My army will win!!! I’ve learned from Paps mistakes!!” Nellie screeched, darting out of the room and yelling “Aspen, Aspen get the dolls!!” (Aspen was Tom and Matt’s daughter. They’d adopted her soon after Nellie was born, and the two girls had grown to be attached by the hip.)

“You girls will never win!! Never!!” Edd yelled, giving Tord a smile and a wink, before grabbing a pillow from the couch, and chasing after his daughter.

Tord laughed to himself, the Norwegians heart warm. He placed a hand on his stomach and sighed, simply thinking about how much he loved Edd, how much he loved Nellie, Matt and Tom, Aspen. Pat, Paul, Ringo. His family.

Right at the moment that he could hear Nellie and Aspen yelling, scurrying to grab their own pillows to whack Edd with, Ringo hopped up onto the couch alongside Tord, nuzzling her face against his leg. She purred, making Tord smile, as he reached a hand down to pet her.

“Hey girl! Awww, lil precious baby!”

Ringo purred louder, clearly appreciating the attention. The red hooded male continued to pet her, listening to the fits of giggles coming from Nellie's room. Eventually, Edd burst out, carrying both girls on his shoulders.

"DAD PUT ME DOWN!!!" Nellie cried, kicking her legs and squirming. Aspen struggled as well, pounding her little fists onto Edd's back.

"UNHAND ME UNCLE EDD!! OR ELSE!!" She shrieked, Edd snorting, and spinning around and causing the girls to laugh. 

"Or else what??"

"OR ELSE..I call my dads." The girl deadpanned, Edd's eyes widening ever so slightly. Goodness, they were so dramatic. It was entertaining and endearing in the best of ways.

"You wouldn't dare." 

Tord rolled his eyes, pulling Ringo up into his lap. He already knew what was coming, and it was now his job to shield the little tabby from the danger.

"DADS, UNCLE EDD IS THREATENING MY ARMY!"

"I AM NOT-" By the time Edd had shouted out, it was too late, Tom and Matt running in, dumb smiles on their faces. Edd quickly set Nellie and Aspen down, smiling just as dumbly.

"Don't tell me! You two are working for their army?!"

"Oh, you bet." Matt said with a wink, Tom handing him a pillow. Edd yelled, throwing his arms up into the air as he ran, chased by the two little girls, Tom and Matt alongside him.

A war of pillows broke out, the battle raging with the intensity of a frog hopping a way from a snake. Everyone was screaming with joy, whipping the cushions at one another, as Tord huddled into the couch, protecting the small, judging Ringo.

Nellie eventually turned away from her army, joining her fathers side and making things more even. Three against two was much more fair then four against one.

"If only you had one more member of your army!!" Tom said, whacking Edd over the head with a pillow. "Then maybe you'd stand a chance!"

Matt nodded in agreement, instantly looking over to Tord. "You have experience, why don't you help your struggling family out?"

"Pap cannot!" Nellie shouted, crossing her arms, this time Edd nodding an agreement. Matt tilted his head, Tom smirking slightly. (Matt didn't know that Tord was pregnant, however Tom did, and he knew that Edd and Tord had a very specific plan for the babies name.)

"Why can't he??" The ginger asked, eyeing Tord up and down. "He looks fine, he's in good condition. Don't you agree, Aspen, sweetie?"

"Yeah!"

"Aspen! He's going to deliver us another solider. He cannot get hurt in that time." Nellie stated, Aspen going "oooh!!" immediately.

"I don't get it-" Matt started, Edd's laugh cutting him off.

"I thought _I_ was the oblivious one- okay, guys I think we should tell him since he hasn't figured it out." The cola lover giggled, walking over to Tord and sitting next to him, wrapping his arm around his husband. Tord snuggled close, Nellie running over to join them, wiggling her way onto Edd's lap. Aspen quickly followed, and even Tom walked over to sit next to them.

"Tell me what??? What have I not figured out-"

"Well, it's something about Tord." Edd said, nuzzling said Norwegian. Matt's face scrunched, and he examined the gremlin as intensely as possible.

"He's getting fat??" 

"RUDE!" Nellie yelled, in the same fashion that Edd always would.

"Wow, Matt," Tord hummed. "I can't believe that's your first thought. 'Fat.' Not pregnant, but 'fat.'"

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" The ginger gasped, Tord nodding. "OH MY GOSH WHY AM I THE LAST TO KNOW??"

"Because."

"Tom, babe, I love you, but that's not nearly information to understand why I'm the last t-"

"We're naming the baby after you, you fucking pickle." Edd interjected, tears welling in Matt's eyes. He raised his hands to his mouth, the tears slowly dripping down his cheeks.

"Y-you're naming the b-baby Matt...?"

Edd and Tord both nodded, happily nuzzling each other, Matt sniffled, before sobbing, running over to crush everyone in a hug.

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!"

Tom giggled, kissing his husband, as Aspen crawled over to sit on his lap. Nellie followed, both girls giggling about having "two Matt's" in their army.

Tord smiled to Edd, leaning on him, and sighing contently. "Matt was definitely the right name."

Edd purred, watching as his big brother sobbed tears of pure joy, hugging onto his husband like his life depended on it. He looked so happy, it was stupidly adorable. Tom looked happy too, the blue hooded male smiling bigger then ever.

Nellie and Aspen were giggling, jumping up and down and cheering "Matt, Matt, Matt!"

And Tord sounded so happy, all snuggled up to him, eyes closed, soft little grin gracing his lips. It was all more then enough to leave Edd feeling all mushy.

"Hell yeah. Matt was the best idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes I wake up like tits and other times I wake up like huuuuh why am I awake its 4:20 in the morning tf


	5. happy family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter is here

Edd hummed as he walked into the kitchen, the poor unsuspecting green bean jamming his toe into the side of the counter, and instantly screaming out, the most eloquent, "Fuck!"

"EDD!" Tord gasped, swatting in his husbands direction, glaring. "Lil Matt is present."

The four year old boy giggled, raising his hands up into the air and clapping, a bright smile on his face. The boy was prone to copying words he absolutely shouldn't, and there was no doubt that he'd-

"Fuck!"

Yep, there it was.

"No!!!" Edd grimaced as Tord shouted, holding his injured foot and weakly hopping. He hadn't _meant_ to curse, it was just a natural reaction to stubbing your toe! Slowly, the male lowered his foot to the floor again, subtly flipping off the counter.

"Fuck!!" Lil Matt giggled again, sounding absolutely delighted. Tord huffed, crossing his arms and giving Edd _the look._

Nellie peeked into the kitchen right at that moment, grinning ear to ear, dread quickly flooding Edd.

"Nellie, n-no, don't you dare-" He stuttered, Tord already covering Lil Matt's ears, letting out a very, _very_ long sigh.

"Did I hear somebody say the fuck word?" She beamed, rocking back and forth on the heels of her feet. Tord glared, sticking his tongue out childishly at his daughter, and then repeating the gesture to Edd, his lovely husband who'd started this mess in the first place.

"Nobody said the fuck word." Edd said, in an immensely pathetic attempt to defuse the situation before it could get out of hand.

"You just said it~" Nellie sung, Edd groaning as she began to sing the swear word, skipping around the kitchen. Lil Matt squeal, the younger child joyously singing along with her- very off key, mind you.

Tord's hands slipped off of Lil Matt's ears, as there really was no use in covering them. The Norwegian stuck his bottom lip out in a pout, turning to his husband. "Look what you've done. Look at what you've started." 

"..I have started a revolution-"

"What-"

"lET THE CHILDREN SWEAR!!" Edd shouted, Nellie bursting out laughing, and Lil Matt joining in. Edd scooped them both up, all of them beginning to sing "Fuck!" in unison, Tord frantically flailing his arms.

"No!! Cease your actions!!!"

"Never!" Edd grinned, setting his beloved children back on the ground. "Get Pap!!"

"AHH" Tord screeched as both his daughter and son ran at him, Edd smirking as he watched his husband fumble around, trying to escape the swearing children. The Norwegian cried out as he was tackled, falling face first onto the floor. Nellie began ticking her pap, Lil Matt copying his big sister right away.

"We have won!! We've defeated the evil ruler of the house, restricting our free speech!" Edd cheered, applauding, Tord shooting him a playful glare, struggling to stop giggling.

"S-swearing is iMPOLITE!!" He wheezed, laughing louder, Nellie and Lil Matt giggling nearly just as loud as they relentlessly attacked. 

"Trying to take over the world is also quite impolite, if I do say myself." Edd smiled, walking over and sitting onto the floor next to them. He pulled both Nellie and Lil Matt off of Tord, and gently ruffling their hair.

"Okay, okay you too, I think Pap's had enough. Why don't you two head upstairs and start making your fort for the sleep over in big sister Nellie's room?"

"Oooo, yay, yay! Fort!!!" Lil Matt hopped up and down, making grabby hands for his older sister. Nellie scooped him up, nodding and already running up the stairs. 

"My brave solider and I will not fail!! We will make the best fort ever!!" She called, quickly adding "And you have to send pictures to Aspen, and Uncle Tom and Matt!!"

"We will!" Edd called back, as Tord sat up, the Norwegian flicking Edd's nose.

"How could you team up against me with the children??" He pouted, though it was very clear to the cola lover that it was _mostly_ fake. 

"Well, I would be a hypocrite if I'd teamed up with you after swearing, babe. The circumstances called for me to rally with our wonderful kids." 

Tord whined, nuzzling his way into Edd's arms and contently settling himself there. The green hooded male began to loudly purr, gently resting his chin on top of his husbands head.

"Hooooooney, they're only kiiiiids, they shouldn't sweeaaaar.." The Norwegian muffedly slurred, face being pressed up against Edd's chest. Snorting, Edd nuzzled, and laid back, bringing Tord with him. The red hooded male lifted his head up to continue to pout and whine, but Edd cut him off the a quick, sweet kiss.

"They were having so much fuuuuuun, thoooough.. Plus, you know they only do it to mess with you right? Or at least, Nellie does, Mattie just likes curse words in general-"

"He called the store clerk a dickwad motherass cunt the other day, just so you know."

"Pffft- okay, yeah we totally have to work on the swearing."

"Yes. Totally." 

Edd giggled, booping his lovers nose. "You still love me riiiiight???"

Tord gave a soft smile, happily kissing the cola lover's lips.

"Always have, always will. Ya little fucker." 

"Good, you precious bitch. Now snuggle me." Edd purred, grinning when he received the loving cuddles from his Tord. He and his husband stayed like that for awhile, sharing sweet little kisses and talking, before Tord bolted up, muttering "ah, shit-"

"Something wrong??" Edd lazily asked, frowning when Tord got off of him.

"I forgot to buy Nellie and Mattie snacks for tonight and it's almost time for their movie- I'll be right back, you keep them occupied." 

"Got it, dad mode on." Edd finger gunned, loving the way Tord adoringly said "dork" giving him a quick peck on the lips before hurrying out the door. The green hooded male stood up, making his way upstairs to Nellie's room and peeking in.

"How's the army going??" He asked, Lil Matt beaming and making grabby hands the moment he saw his dad. Edd settled down on the floor, allowing both Nellie and Mattie to crawl into his lap, telling him of their amazing battle adventures.

Almost an hour later, the two were whining about not having snacks for their movie, and asking where their Pap was. Edd frowned at the clock, seeing the time, and pulling out his phone to call Tord- only to stop, when Tord called him first.

"Where are you??" He worriedly asked. He hadn't realized the time before, but his husband had been gone for awhile.

"Okay, so, I may or may not have found a very adorable baby faced orphan boy with a gun on the streets, who I desperately want to adopt and give a family of amazing loving parents and great siblings-"

"Holy shit, To r d-"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeee??" 

"Well yeah, of course!" 

"Yay, sweet! He doesn't have a name, so get thinking! I'll be home with him soon!! Love you! Muah~"

Edd sighed, smiling, and feeling his heart flutter. "Love you too! Muah~"

The phone clicked, the green hooded male giggling and turning to Nellie and Lil Matt.

"Your Pap has gotten you another sibling-" He started, cutting off when Nellie excitedly gasped, and Matt tilted his head in confusion- and then quickly copied Nellie's reaction.

"That's amazing!! What's their name??? Is it a boy or a girl? Can I give them a bow? Can they join me and Aspen's army with Matt?"

"It's a boy, he doesn't have a name, and you'll have to ask him about those things. In the meantime you wanna help me think of some-"

"Baby names!!" Lil Matt cried, clapping happily,and then giving Edd and expecting look to make sure he was correct. The green hooded male ruffled his hair, and nodded, smiling sweetly.

"Baby names."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Or actually, he might not be a baby, Tord didn't say his age, but-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woOO

**Author's Note:**

> this was fun to write woot woot


End file.
